Why I Changed the Title of My Book

You may have noticed that I’ve changed the title of my book! For years, my working title was Extra Virgin and that’s also been the name of the series about sexuality here on the blog. I loved the title because it was catchy and funny and just a little bit cheeky, but once the time came to really commit to a title, it suddenly didn’t feel right.

So, I changed the title of my book to Darling: A Woman’s Guide to Godly Sexuality. I’m so excited about the new title and how much better this communicates my passion and purpose for this book. To explain why, I’d love to share an excerpt from the introduction ::

This book is not about being a virgin.

In recent history, Christians have obsessed over the idea of virginity.

You’re either a virgin or you’re not. Pure or impure. In or out.

But sex was created by God. He envisioned and crafted it—much like an artist would imagine and execute a painting—then gave it to every man and woman. And God wants you to partake in his good gift in a way that maximizes your experience of it. For centuries, Christians have called this being chaste—engaging your sexuality in the way that God intended when he first created it. We can be chaste whether we’re single and patiently abstaining from sex, engaged and eagerly preparing for it, or married and joyfully partaking in it.

We do this both because of who God is and because of who we are. In fact, whenever Scripture uses the word “godly,” it refers not to those who are blameless or good, but to those who have “genuinely laid hold of God’s steadfast love.” Because of God’s perfect love displayed to us through Jesus’s death on the cross, our lives are no longer defined by being pure or impure, in or out, virgin or not a virgin. Our lives are defined by the love of God for us.

Merriam-Webster defines “darling” as “a dearly loved person; greatly loved; very pleasing.” A darling is someone who knows who she is, who is beloved by a good Creator and who bravely lives life in accordance with that reality. Her identity is no longer defined by the good or bad things she’s done; it’s not defined by her sexuality or her singleness, her accomplishments or failures, her ability to have a boyfriend or a child. A darling is one who has laid hold of God’s steadfast love.

This book is about being a darling.

What are your thoughts on the new title? What do you think about the idea of “godly” women being those who have “genuinely laid hold of God’s steadfast love”? I’d love to hear what you think!

(Photo by Muhammed Kara)


Posted by Aanna on Monday, May 15th, 2017


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