Llewelyn, I See You

Llewelyn, my dear, I see you.

Peering up at me from my breast, your eyelashes swooping and camel-like, I see how much this means to you. That you gag and choke and throw-up anything besides my milk, because this is what you want. You want this flavor, this texture, this nearness, this warmth, this moment and another one just like it in forty-five more minutes, and all through the night. I see you.

Crying in my friend’s arms, kicking and lunging toward me, I see you. I know what you are saying—that you prefer me. You like my friend, but you’d rather befriend her from the security of my lap. That as you see the world, your enjoyment of it increases when I enjoy it with you. That’s why you crane your neck until you’re in my line of vision, squawk for me to see, and then smile with my smile. I see you.

Grinning at the sun, at the breeze, at the smell of Mabel’s fur, at the feeling of being bounced and lifted and swayed, I see you. I see you take it in, pleased and surprised at it all. Never aloof or reserved or timid or unimpressed, you were meant for this world and you grasp at it with both fists. I see you.

Appearing on my chest, rugged and quick yet moments from suffocation, I see you arriving on the scene like a climber scaling a precipice. You’re unafraid of danger and strife, walking through it like it’s all in a day’s work, none the worse for the wear. You scream when you’re mad, laugh when you’re happy, weep when you’re sad, moving from one thing to the next unscathed and unconquered. You are a duck and life is the water rolling off your back. I see you.

Watching, ever watching, hazel-eyes, Hazael—the one who sees—I see you. Big eyes that made the room gasp with their clarity and beauty, you do not blink at the light. From that first moment, you were the one who sees. Hazael—the one whom the Lord sees—ever watchful over you. He made your eyes and the light that gives them life and the universe that gives them purpose. Only a Being so great could make something so good, and only in Him will you find a focus worthy of those eyes.

Llewelyn, my dear, see Him.


Posted by Aanna on Friday, April 27th, 2018


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