Extra Virgin :: Why Singleness Matters
I’d like to begin by pointing out that sexuality does not mean “having sex”. Sexuality is something that every man and woman has, whether they’re having sex or not. Sexuality is a gift given by God.
What’s crazy is that now that we know that sexuality is a picture of our relationships with Jesus Christ, we see that it can also be expressed in singleness. Being chaste (having godly sexuality) means nothing more than using your sexuality to express the relationship between Christ and his church.
So, if you’re single or dating or engaged, that means that you can be chaste by not having sex, while simultaneously embracing your sexuality and the longing you feel.
If you look at the first chapter of Song of Songs—the book in Scripture that deals most explicitly with romantic love—you’ll find that the narrator is not married yet, but still filled with sexual longing and passion. She has a desire not yet satisfied.
There are many of you reading this who are single, and you may be longing to find someone, to be married, or to have sex. It’s a very palpable, visceral feeling within you.
That’s the kind of longing that Christians should have for the coming of Jesus! Not just that, but that’s the kind of longing we should feel to experience union with Jesus right now. To think the way he does, to experience communion and oneness with him, to long for the person of Jesus.
And when you are chaste as a single person, you show the church what it means to long for Jesus and his second coming.
Single people play such an important role in the church! We need you to display for us what it means to live with a desire not yet satisfied. We need your example of holy longing mixed with patient faith.
While married people can teach the church what it means to enter into covenant unity with God, this is something that can’t be fully realized until heaven. The picture that single people provide us is a realistic portrait of what the life of the believer is like—a longing for Jesus in the midst of a painful struggle.
We sing this song in our church ::
Like a bride
waiting for her groom
she’ll be a church
ready for you
longing for her king
come Lord jesus come.
Play your part well, single friends. We need your story.
(Photo by Julia Caesar)