Extra Virgin :: Why did God create sex?
Everything that God created tells us something about Him. Every blade of green grass, every time a puppy nuzzles your hand, every magenta sunset. Nature is one of the most simple and available ways to learn about God. He did everything on purpose. And He did everything well.
That means that we can learn a lot about God because He made sex. Think about the nature of attraction. For one thing, you’re not attracted to just anyone. And you’re not attracted to only one person. But sometimes, when you see a man, something happens. Butterflies flutter in your stomach. You feel excitement, happiness, and kind of good about yourself. And if he looks at you…if he smiles…Phew. It’s better than a warm chocolate chip cookie or waves lapping at your toes or a nap under white, crisp sheets. Life feels perfect.
God did that. He wanted you to feel that way when a man you are attracted to smiles at your for the first time. But it doesn’t end there.
Another aspect of the nature of attraction is magnetism. You want to get closer. There has to be movement. Something has to happen next. You’re not content with a smile, you then want a conversation. After talking and connecting and liking everything you hear, there has to be some outlet, some way to communicate this feeling. And so you touch. You hold hands or you stroke his hair or you kiss his hand. And then you embrace, the only physical demonstration of what’s happening in your soul. But even that’s not enough. There’s an inward, inexorable drive towards something, some far off goal. And every step of the journey is bliss, but only if you keep moving forward.
You understand conversations like this, right? Then the embrace? And then…the kiss. A kiss to connect and integrate yourselves on a whole new level. That’s why we reach in with our tongues, hoping to intertwine ourselves even more.
And then the most wonderful connection of all— we each have, handcrafted into our very bodies, a way to connect, to integrate, to intertwine ourselves together. His penis perfectly fits into your vagina and you do this as a demonstration of what’s happening in your souls. It’s a way to holistically participate in this new relationship— for your soul, your emotions, your heart, and your body to all express the same thing.
And when you do this and participate in this thing called sex, it culminates in orgasm, the best feeling you will ever feel in your body and in your heart and in your head. Sexual bonding creates an actual, physical feeling that is unlike anything else. You will feel more satisfied than ever before. You will be happier than ever before. You will be completely relaxed and at peace. You will feel full of love for him and flooded by his love for you.
And once again, God was the one who thought it all up in the first place. He made it, created it, like someone would imagine and then execute a painting. He imagined sex and then made it and gave it to everyone.**
What do you think he was trying to say? What do you think he was trying to tell you about himself? Just think on that for a minute.
The simple answer is that he made sex in order to show us that intimacy is the source of satisfaction and love and happiness. There are all kinds of pleasure to be found when you give yourself wholly to another person. But the broader, “realler” answer is that, since everything on earth points to God, sex tells us that when we go to him for intimacy and give ourselves wholly to him, there will be satisfaction and love and happiness on a grand scale. What a regular man is to God, an orgasm is to what you’ll experience when you achieve intimacy with God.
Please, please don’t giggle and blush and think that this has anything to do with having sex with God. God only made sexuality to point to a truth about himself. “Just as we experience deep joy as we lose ourselves and merge into oneness with our spouse at the moment of sexual climax, we experience ultimate joy as we become one with Jesus Christ in a union that leads to incomprehensible joy.” (Intimate Allies by Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III)
On my wedding night, my husband and I sat cross-legged on the end of our bed eating some delicious room service. We watched TV and every once in awhile we would look at each other and smile. We’d just had sex for the first time and it had been great.
Suddenly, the show we were watching showed some sort of sex scene. After it was over, we just looked at each other and said, “They lied.”
The sex was exaggerated, stylized. It had nothing to do with the relationship between the two people and more to do with the act, severed from everything else. (Also, they didn’t clean up afterwards, which we now knew was kind of gross.) And as we sat on the end of that bed, my husband looked at me and said, “I’ve been looking forward to this night for so long. Actually, I haven’t been looking forward to it…I’ve been worshipping it in my mind. Movies, books, TV, magazines, everyone, everywhere have been telling me that sex is the greatest thing on earth, worth obsessing over and being captivated by. But now I know the truth. I know that sex is great. But it’s not God.”
That was an important lesson for us at a crucial moment in our lives. And that truth has proved true time and again, and is validated by countless other people, Scripture, and God Himself.
Sex is great. But it’s not God.
So enjoy sex to the fullest. Revel in it. Learn about it, what God’s intention was when he created it. Embrace your sexuality with a heart full of thankfulness. And then take everything you’ve learned about sex and apply it to your relationship with God. Because everything, and I mean everything, is about him.
**Please see Extra Virgin :: Disclaimers for more clarity on my views on sex.(Photo via Archer Messenger)