Extra Virgin :: What I Mean When I Say "Sexuality"
My book Darling: A Woman’s Guide to Godly Sexuality comes out soon (I got the proof copies last week!) and I cannot wait to share all that I’ve been thinking and writing about the topic for the past several years. But I was thinking—I throw around the term “sexuality” a lot around here and I wanted to explain exactly what I mean by the idea.
There are many different aspects to sexuality: sexual activity, gender, romance, marriage…In our culture, we often speak and think of these concepts as being separate, as though we can have a corner of ourselves that is our gender, a corner for sex, a corner for marriage, etc.
But in Scripture we find that these things are always considered together.* Sex, romance, marriage, and gender are four components that interlock to form the essence of sexuality. They are not separate, but are meant to be experienced together. (Of course, there may be a natural progression, but they are actually one big entity.) Also, sexuality affects the physical, erotic, emotional, social and spiritual realms, and trying to fracture it from one of these areas can do real damage to one’s sexuality.
The Christian’s view of sex is a holistic view—encompassing the various elements of sexuality and seeing them as a whole as a way to develop intimacy with a partner and to ultimately understand more of God himself.
*Genesis 1-2, Song of Songs
(Photo by Jordan McQueen)