Writer :: Mother :: Lover :: Freedom Fighter

Extra Virgin :: Spouse As Roommate

I recently listened to an episode of Awesome Etiquette that really caught my attention. In it, hosts Lizzy Post and Daniel Post Senning discussed the etiquette surrounding living with a roommate. Their observations and suggestions were so good, and I started to think about how helpful their advice could be for married couples. Here are some of their suggestions ::

Be a good communicator

You have to learn to speak up. Speak up about the things you like and the things you don’t like. But first, you’ll have to do a self-assessment. Figure out where you stand so you can communicate what’s really important to you and what you can handle adjusting.

Know your role

Is this experience a role as a roommate or as a spouse? Don’t talk about bills on date night. Don’t use emotional leverage in a situation that’s about bills. (You’re just trying to figure out logistics!)

Find perspective

When you find yourself getting upset about household things (like “he should do the dishes” or “he forgot the dogfood!”) take a minute and remind yourself what it’d be like if you were on your own and dealing with this. Go back to the idea that you’re a capable person who can take care of these things and that your happiness shouldn’t hinge on the other person doing them.

What do you think? I know that a husband is so much more than just a roommate, but have you ever thought about some of your issues as being more “roommate issues” than “marriage issues”? Does any of this advice resonate with you? What kind of things do you do to make yourself a good roommate? If you’re single, have you ever had a roommate? Do you have any suggestions for making the living environment a good one?

(Top photo via Inspired By This)


Posted by Aanna on Monday, May 9th, 2016


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