Extra Virgin :: How To Give (and Get!) A Great Massage
So, Logan and I love to give each other massages. Whether it’s a simple back scratch while watching a movie or a more elaborate affair with massage oil and relaxing music, it’s definitely at the top of our list of favorite things to do. As Douglas Rosenau says in his amazing book on sex ::
Massage has been shown to have profound effects on the one giving the massage as well as the person receiving it. A massage reduces stress, blood pressure goes down, and a relaxed, comfortable, nurturing atmosphere is encouraged within the companionship.
Needless to say, massage is a wonderful addition to the lifestyle of any married couple. Here are a couple of pointers ::
Learn basic massage techniques
Use an oil or cream
You’ll want to use some kind of massage oil in order to soften the skin and help your hands glide across your partner’s body. Natural oils such as avocado oil, coconut oil and hazelnut oil work well (especially with a drop of essential oils…so relaxing!), or you can use a cream or something specifically tailored for massage.
Don’t have sex afterward
As counter-intuitive as this may sound, even though giving and getting a massage can be very sexy, having sex afterward can have some adverse effects. For example, if you’re the one getting a massage, it can be hard to relax if you suspect that you may have sex afterwards. And for the person giving the massage, it can unconsciously become a means of manipulation (ie. giving a massage in order to get sex).
Learn how to enjoy giving a massage
It’s hard to relax into a massage if you think your spouse is bored or burdened by giving you one. If you can each learn to love giving a massage as much as getting one, it will create a nurturing and relaxed environment. When giving a massage, focus on how pleasant it is to run your hands over your spouse’s naked body (while still staying away from the genitals!). Also, think about how good you’re making your spouse feel, basking in the joy of making someone else feel so loved.
Massage has become a really sweet way of giving and receiving love from each other. When one of us offers to give a massage, it really is a loving gesture, meant to bless and serve the other. When one of us gets a massage, we can fully relax throughout the whole thing, knowing that the other person is enjoying his or herself just as much.
What about you? Do you and your husband give each other massages? Any tips for giving or receiving a great massage? Spill the beans!
(Top photo by Archer Messenger)