Extra Virgin :: Hygiene and Sex
For most of our married life, Logan and I have maintained a regular date night. One day, however, I let time get away from me and found myself with just a handful of minutes to get ready before the babysitter arrived. I was greasy and sweaty from a busy day cleaning the house, still in some sort of yoga pant/pajama outfit, with my hair in a messy bun. And there was only so much time…
Desperately, I asked Logan if there was anything he would especially like to see me wear on our date. He very sweetly responded, “Wear anything you want. I always like what you wear.”
I put together the most killer, sexy outfit I could come up with, sincerely proud of how I looked. Almost as an afterthought I layered on some deodorant and perfume, slicked my hair back in a ponytail, and ran out the door with my love.
We had a great time, but later that night, before the movie started, Logan said something interesting. “When you asked me if there was anything I wanted you to wear, I realized that wasn’t exactly what you were asking. You wanted to know what I would find attractive. I’ve been thinking about it tonight and I realized that I don’t really care what you wear as long as you’re clean and smell nice.”
After a stunned silence, I burst out laughing, explaining how I had based my entire toilette on the opposite assumption. We had a good laugh, but it was actually a really useful conversation to me. I feel so much less pressure to get dolled up and instead just shower (along with a little deodorant and perfume) and know that I’m attractive and appealing to my husband.
I say all this because it’s actually really common advice in sex books. Many experts stress the importance of proper hygiene for sexual attraction. The idea is simple: Women really want their husbands to be clean and smell nice. But it’s not only women. Men also really want their wives to be clean and smell nice.
I do want to issue a huge disclaimer here by saying that this is not true for some people. For example, (and please don’t judge me) I don’t really care whether or not Logan’s clean, but I really dig it when he wears a well-fitted pair of pants or a handsome sweater. There are always exceptions to every rule, and you or your husband may be one of them.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Do you think hygiene is important for sex appeal? How important? Has this changed the way you get ready for a date or possibly even your everyday habits? Or does it not factor in at all in your marriage? I’d love to get your input!
(Photo by LIFE photographer Yale Joel via Miss Moss)