Writer :: Mother :: Lover :: Freedom Fighter

Extra Virgin :: How To Fall In Love

My friend Hannah recently told me about the work of New York psychologist Arthur Arun, who has figured out the science behind falling in love. According to Arun, here’s how to fall in love in three easy steps ::

How To Fall In Love

  • Find a complete stranger.
  • Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
  • Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

In his experiments, Arun asks his subjects to complete these steps and has found that many people feel deeply attracted to each other afterward. In fact, two of his subjects ended up getting married! Ha!

This whole experiment shows the power of hormones, the effect of dopamine, oxytocin, and testosterone on the brain. The experience of “falling in love” is extremely intoxicating. In fact, dopamine has the same effect on the brain as cocaine! A lot of people try to discount this part of a relationship, saying that “falling in love” is more like “falling in lust”, etc, but I think it’s important to recognize the powerful emotions that people experience during this stage of a relationship. God created dopamine, oxytocin and all our other hormones for a purpose. These intense feelings of delight are from Him!

But of course, they’re just hormones, and as amazing as they may feel, they have no ability to inform you of the character and personality of the person you’re crushing on. It requires maturity and wisdom to make decisions not based on emotions. It’s almost like you could “fall in love” with anyone, given the right circumstances, so it’s especially important that you not date (or marry!) someone just because of how you feel about him.

As an interesting side note, Logan and I fell in love in an almost textbook way. We were strangers placed beside each other on a 12 hour van ride. We struck up a conversation and talked about everything we could think of, including “intimate details of our lives”. Lots of eye contact was included. Haha!

What about you? Have you ever “fallen in love”? What was it like? How did it feel? How did it affect the decisions you made?

(Photo via Cup of Jo)


Posted by Aanna on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2016


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