Writer :: Mother :: Lover :: Freedom Fighter

Extra Virgin :: How To Be Good In Bed

“How can I be good in bed?”

This is a question we all have, isn’t it? I think in the end, that’s the nagging question that often propels people to read magazines and books about sex and to watch sex scenes. How can I be good at sex? How can I give my husband pleasure? How can I make him feel awed by and satisfied in our love life?

Because of the uniqueness of each marriage relationship, it would be naive of me to try to answer this question for everyone, but I would like to challenge the common assumption and offer a few suggestions.

First of all, I think there’s a stereotype of a woman who is “good in bed”. It’s the image of a tall, sultry woman showing up at a man’s apartment wearing a trench coat (and only a trench coat), pushing him down on his bed and climbing on top of him with a very serious expression on her face. She’s mysterious, dangerous and her personality doesn’t exist outside of her sexuality. This works really well for sexual relationships that aren’t committed, that don’t know or understand each other’s personalities, or whose ultimate goal in sex is passion or thrill.

But God created sex to be so much more than that. He wanted two people to commit themselves to each other in lifelong love and service in order to grow to know each other—to truly know and be known. Intimacy is the goal, to be achieved through pleasure, community, covenant and bonding. Because this is the case, there’s a whole new way to be “good in bed”. Again, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d like to spend the next five weeks discussing some ways that I think a woman can give a lot of pleasure to her husband.

Be sure to check back next week! ;)

(Photo by Claire Cottrell)


Posted by Aanna on Tuesday, May 31st, 2016


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