Extra Virgin :: Hollywood Lies
There’s one thing that you should know—Hollywood lies about sex. I’m not trying to say that Hollywood has different opinions about sex than I do (although that is true). I’m saying that Hollywood lies on screen about what they know to be true in real life.
Here’s an example: What’s the most typical way for Hollywood to communicate that two people have had sex with each other? Waking up naked in bed together the next morning, right? So apparently they had sex, then rolled over and fell asleep, just letting all that sticky mess dry on them overnight. Just thinking about it makes me feel kind of queasy. Plus, that means they’d probably all have raging bladder infections! But it’s not romantic to show a couple having sex and then promptly stuffing Kleenex in their crotches and hopping to the bathroom. So even though almost all couples (including Hollywood stars) clean up after sex, movies don’t show it.
Also, Hollywood rarely shows a couple stopping to put on a condom. Hollywood shows couples rolling around under the sheets together, even though this is nearly impossible to pull off during coitus. Hollywood doesn’t show any awkward sex positions, even though these are often the most pleasurable and widely used.
Partly, they’re not to blame. There are many realities of life that don’t appear on the big screen, simply because it doesn’t make a good story. We don’t need to see a couple doing laundry to know that everyone must wash their clothes. We don’t need to see someone stewing over their W-2s to know that everyone must pay their taxes. In the same way, movies and TV rarely show what sex actually looks like, because like all of life, sex is messy and complex when it’s between real people.
With that in mind, I’m going to start writing much more explicitly about sex in the coming weeks and months. I’d like to give you an accurate picture of what sex is like between a married couple. I’ll try to be sensitive to those of you who are not married at the moment, but I’ll trust that you’ll be the best judge of what information is helpful and what is “too much too soon”. My goal will be to tell the truth about sex and leave the rest to you.
(Photo from To Catch A Thief found here)