Extra Virgin :: Emotional Pornography

The rise of pornography addiction is alarming, but have you ever thought that many women fall prey to a different kind of pornography? There are endless movies, TV shows, and books that portray an idea of a man that, frankly, doesn’t exist.

We can watch something as innocent as Pride and Prejudice, but then fall in love with Mr. Darcy in our minds, even though he’s a fake, and no man is actually like him. Our make-believe Darcys are gallant and romantic, full of big gestures, and have tunnel vision focus on us and us alone. This creates unrealistic expectations for the real men in our lives, expectations that they can never live up to, that always leave us discontent and crushed, leaving them to feel inadequate and frustrated.

This is so similar to the effect of sexual pornography and men. They create images of women that are over sexualized, that promote an unrealistic interaction with women that has no basis in reality. When they bring this to us, we are left feeling completely inadequate and hurt, and it cripples the possibility of real, good sexual interaction.

We all need to understand the seriousness of our sin. These sins are often committed in the darkness of our rooms or in the crevices of our mind. But even if they go undetected by others, their destructive force cannot be contained for long. We need to understand that our emotional pornography is a very real sin. It has a real and negative effect on the ones we love and care about the most. When we give in to our emotional fantasies, it separates us from God, and is one of the things that nailed Jesus to the cross.

What are you thoughts? I know this isn’t a new concept (Relevant magazine wrote about it back in 2010 and Joseph Gordon-Levitt made an entire movie about it), but I think it’s still worth talking about. Do you agree or disagree that romantic comedies can produce the same effects as pornography? Why or why not? Do you believe emotional pornography exists? If so, what are its effects? I know this is probably a deeply personal issue, but I think we should start talking about it in the open…


Posted by Aanna on Monday, April 20th, 2015


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