A Short Confession
We knew about two months ahead of time that Logan wouldn’t have a job. I have enough experience with difficult seasons of life to know that unemployment would not be the only hardship to come. Satan is like a wicked lion, picking off the weak and the exhausted of the herd, those having a hard time. I assumed that during the next couple months, Satan would attack our marriage, Valentine’s health, and our trust in God. So, I started praying, asking God to protect our marriage, Valentine’s health, our trust in God.
The Lord generously and lavishly answered my prayers over these past six months.
However, I’m short-sighted. The prowling lion never tires.
A couple months ago I started battling some serious sin issues. Unforgiveness, anger, judgmentalism, and emotionalism settled into the recesses of my heart. And the thing is, I felt so justified in my particular brand of sin. It felt so righteous and good, and I wallowed and soaked in them like some kind of filthy bath. It was strangely warm and inviting, and I had so little self-awareness of the fact that it was sin.
But the Holy Spirit…
Someone recommended a book. One friend didn’t sympathize, but called me out. My husband lovingly pointed at the truth…over and over and over. The Holy Spirit convicted my heart constantly. And I started to realize what had happened. I’m still dealing with my sin (aka confessing and asking for forgiveness a lot), but dear Lord, am I thankful for the cross. To lay all of this at His feet anytime I realize the enormity of my sin, to know that He has taken care of it all for me, leaving me to only be filled with gratitude and ever increasing love for our great Redeemer.
Satan is sneaky. My heart is eager to go wrong. But God mercifully grasps me by the hand and pulls me to safety.